Crossroads Part II

*Honk...*Honk

“Ridz...Ridz...” Sid was shaking my hand...

“Oh yeah” I replied, still lost in thoughts. I looked past Sid to see that it had turned dark outside. Gosh!  When you are lost in thoughts..time just flies by..

“Where have you been? We are almost there. 15 more minutes. I kept on blabbering the whole way and you didn’t listen to anything. What were you thinking?”

“Umm nothing..” I looked flustered. Sid must have understood for he didn’t probe further. But it did affect him coz even though he didn’t speak anything I noticed a small frown forming on his face.

We soon reached the resort where Sid had made the bookings. They were offering a package which included some sightseeing and night outs along with the food and stay. It looked luxurious with big lawns and an impressive architecture.

Sid asked me to go with the staff and check the room while he completed the check in formalities. It was a beautiful suite with soft creamy drapery and wooden flooring. But the best part was the view from the balcony... a breezy moonlit night and the sea whispering to the sky. Wow!!!

“Sir has chosen the best suite mam. Hope you enjoy your stay.”
 

I sometimes wondered, why did Sid take so much pain to make me happy. What did he get out of all this?

As I was just settling down, I heard voices. Something struck me and my heart started pounding heavily. Yes it was Sid’s voice but there was someone else too. It sounded so familiar that I ran out to see who it was. And when I did, my jaws dropped. I stood there frozen...The same face, the same smile, the seductive voice...Armaan..my face went pale. I couldn’t move my eyes off him.

They came closer, all three of them..Armaan, Sid and a girl. “Hey Ridz, this is Armaan and his wife. They are also on vacation here.” Armaan now moved up his face to look at me, and even he was tongue tied, shocked and surprised. Sid was perplexed to see us transfixed. He had joined Sanjeevani only after Armaan had left. So he didn’t know him by face. He had only heard his name, but how on earth was he to imagine that this was the guy who had turned me into a living stone and our marriage into a private joke. But I guess he gauged it. Even in my absentmindedness I noticed an immediate transformation in his body language.

“I guess my wife is a bit tired so we would take some rest” he said and shut the door.

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Now that we were alone, I didn’t know what to say or how to react. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. The wounds I had nursed for so long suddenly lay open, bleeding and hurting like hell. 

“He is the one, isn’t he?” Sid asked, in a serious tone, more serious than I had ever seen him before. I don’t know what any other husband in this world would have done but Sid just came close, patted softly on my back and said “I know you are upset. If you want to go back, just let me know. And if you want to stay, I am with you. Be a lil strong Riddhima..his wife is with him.”

I still couldn’t utter anything. To have my past spring up so unexpectedly, was too hard for me to swallow. I was not prepared for this.

“I know it’s hard Riddhima, it’s always hard to come face to face with your love under these circumstances.”

I don’t know how insane it sounds but I was badly in need of a support. I hugged Sid and broke into tears, never realizing how hard it must be for him. Was I using him as a sponge to soak away my own sorrows?  

We had a sombre dinner. Actually I don’t even remember what was there on menu for Sid had ordered something and he fed me and tucked me into bed. If I wanted, I could have returned that very night. But something stopped me. Something sinful. I wanted to know Shilpa, I wanted to know what she had in her to deserve Armaan that I didn’t.

The next morning  we went out on the sand. It was the private beach of the resort and they had arranged for some games. Even though I was with Sid, my eyes were searching for them. And there they were, Armaan and Shilpa. As soon as we walked closer to them, Shilpa waved out to us. Sid looked at me and waved back.

“HI Siddhant, I couldn’t talk to your lovely wife yesterday. She looked a little tired yesterday. Are you ok now?” she said hurriedly as Armaan sat blank and expressionless, looking out at the sea.

“Yes, I am good. My husband took pretty good care of me .” I added intentionally.

She signalled us to sit there. Sid was a little uncomfortable initially but he followed once he saw me settling down. Eventually they got talking..Shilpa and Sid. At a  first glance Shilpa seemed a nice cherubic girl, bubbly and restless. She jelled well with Sid. They were talking animatedly and laughing. I wondered if her husband had ever told her about his past. I wondered, if she knew everything, could she still behave as non chalantly as she did now. And then suddenly it struck me. Sid knew everything, still he acted so nicely. Why was he so nice...why did he go out of his way to make my life easier.

Armaan excused himself and went inside. We three remained there, almost the whole day. We had our lunch on the beach..the two of them chatting and I was mostly quiet. I could see that there was hardly any bond between Armaan and his wife. Both were two different personalities, at best thrown in together. 

It was evening when Sid said he wanted to go back to the suite for a bath. I was now left alone with Shilpa.

“You are a lucky girl, your husband loves you like crazy. He knows almost every small detail about you. “

I smiled. I was amazed. I was amazed that I had sat with them the whole day and yet I didn’t know what conversation they have had. Their words only entered my ears but were lost before they could reach my mind. And then I was amazed at how this lady could understand in a day that Sid loved me. To be honest even I had seen glimpses of his romantic side, in bits and pieces. But he had never crossed the line I marked for him. Actually I never tried to get into his mind and find out the reason behind his concern .  Partly because I was too selfish and partly because I was scared to confront the truth.

“Why? Even you are lucky. I am sure even your husband loves you a lot.” I said. 

“I don’t knw. He is a mystery to me. He never really opens up. I knw I should not be telling all this to u but I am not happy. I donno what can I do to bring him to senses.” She was almost reduced to tears and once she regained her composure, she left, completely dejected.

I sat alone for some time until Sid returned. He sat next to me and I leaned on his shoulder.

“They are not happy Sid. Why did he marry her then. He could have convinced his parents couldn’t he.” Sid was silent. “Am I that bad a girl Sid who will break a family ? Would I not have taken care of his family? Why did he leave me” I started sobbing. Sid stroked my back and ran his fingers through my hair, let me know through his actions that he was right there with me through all this and more.

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I don’t remember anything beyond that moment. For, the next time I opened my eyes I was in our suite. Sid must have carried me back to the hotel. But where was he. I called out but there was no reply. I rang up his cell and it came as switched off. I changed and walked out towards the beach. I saw fellow tourists there, even Armaan and Shilpa but Sid was nowhere to be found. I asked Shilpa if she had seen Sid but she also answered in negative. I came back to the hotel and enquired at the reception, but even they had no clue. I was getting worried. I ran through the incidents of the previous night and I felt guilty.

Even if we were friends and we had an understanding between us, he was my husband at the end of the day. How could I talk to him about another man in such a way. Where was he? Where did he go? As the hours passed by, my panic grew. There was still no trace of him. By now the hotel staff had got involved, police was called and everyone was tensed. Armaan and Shilpa too were worried. 

My mind was playing havoc. It kept on going back to the past and replaying moments between us. I realized I was so lost in my own sorrows to actually try and empathise with Sid. I was not just insensitive but extremely self centred. Leave alone wife, I was not even good enough to be a friend. I had taken him for granted so much  that I was blind to his presence. But now his absence bothered me. I felt so melancholic...so lost without him. And surprisingly at this moment, I wished for nothing more than to get him back.

It was getting  dark. I was growing crazier by the minute... .

Suddenly I heard a ruckus and looked up to see Sid surrounded by the resort staff and police. His hair was dishevelled and his clothes were smudged with dirt. There were cuts and bruises all over his face and hands . He was looking scared and drained out. I just couldn’t control myself. Right at that moment I ran upto him. In the middle of the crowd that had gathered, I hugged him tightly and stayed there for a long time holding him.

Sid was taken aback. He had never seen me so overwhelmed with emotions..not atleast for him.

“Where were you?” I broke down

“I was strolling on the beach last night when a couple of hooligans on a bike abducted me. They took away all my money and belongings. They beat me up and took me to some remote place and dumped me. I was unconscious. Some locals rescued me and they brought me here.” He took a pause. “Ridz we must give them something as a token, they saved my life.”

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Later that night, when I was dressing Sid’s wounds in the privacy of our suite Sid asked “Why were you so scared Riddhima?”

“I thought even you have left me Sid, especially after all that I said last night.”

“ I will never leave you Ridz, not until you yourself ask me to .”

“Why Sid? Why did you promise and why do you die a silent death everyday trying to live upto your promises. Why did you marry me. You were aware that I loved someone else. You knew I couldn’t give you the happy life you so deserved. Why every time I falter, you go out of your way to support me?”

He was silent for quite a while. Then he gently pushed me back and stoop up. He walked towards the balcony and stared blankly across the moonlit horizon.

“I married you not just because you were my friend, but because I loved you. I loved you the day I saw you first, cringing in your bed in the psychiatric ward and I loved you every day thereafter.  You are right, I was fully aware of the pain you bore inside. How could I not. How could I not feel the pain of an incomplete love when my own love was incomplete?  It is excruciating painful to see your wife, your love writhing in pain for someone else, but I figured it was more difficult to wake up in another continent, knowing that you are married to a man who doesn’t understand you, who insults you for your past & forces you to accept your present. I couldn’t picture yourself like that. I just couldn’t.”

Silence....except for the lashing of the waves...

“At least I am with you. I know you are safe....So what if I stay next door? Yours is still the first face I see in the morning and the last I see before retiring everyday. So what if we don’t share intimate moments, I am still your confidante. I can still make you smile. I have no complaints against you, ya may be a little with God.”

I didn’t speak out a single word, not then not afterwards. I stayed close to Sid the whole night. While he slept peacefully, I sat next to him, awake, revisiting my life.

I had always thought Sid to be an immature boy, full of fun and frolic. But i realized it today that I was grossly mistaken. The depth of his love was much deeper than my own, coz he always knew he had nothing to look forward to and yet he kept on loving me..every day, selflessly, sacrificing his own dreams, his own pleasures.

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Next morning when Sid woke up, he had a warm breakfast waiting for him. He was back to his jolly self again..smiling and cracking jokes.

“Hey wifey..wassup?”

“Sid will you give me something if I ask for it?”

“U bet i will. But never asked.” There was a twinkle in his eyes. He could sense a change in me and a change for the better.

“When i was a girl, I always dreamt of a wedding in a church wearing a flowing white gown. Will you do the honours?”

“Ya why not, I will love to.” Sid didn’t quite understand the gravity of my request.

“Not the kind we had last time Sid, a real wedding with real vows.”

You should have seen the expression on his face. A perfect blend of estacy and shock. Poor guy, I had troubled him so much. And stupid me....my prince charming was always next door and I didn’t even knock his bedroom door.

“By the way, you have a special priviledge. You can kiss the bride before the marriage coz u are already married to her.” I smiled and drew him closer.

P.S. Thanks Armaan for coming back, for had you not, I would have never found Sid, my love n my life.