The sun is setting on my last evening here, in the house
that had eventually become home. I am sitting alone in an almost bare
apartment, tired from the uncountable trips to the trash bin downstairs. For
the past two days I have been busy throwing away stuff that I had painstakingly
collected one piece at a time in the last six months. My hands are bruised and
I am soaked in sweat. But there’s a bigger turmoil going inside, one that I can’t
quite articulate.
Its time to go home, back to the two people I love most. No
matter how grave the underlying reasons are, I should be happy. I am, but in a
hidden corner of my heart, an unexplained pain is lurking. I am going to miss
this place, this house, the first rays of sun that used to greet me every
morning, the smiling moon that put me to sleep every night. I am going to miss
the friends and family I made here.
Looking back, it feels like yesterday that I landed here,
alone and naive, bang in the middle of the proverbial winter. Every day I have
taken one more step on the bumpy trail, learning and unlearning things, pulling
myself up when things were unfavourable, dragging myself when I felt like
quitting. Behind all those happy glowing pictures on facebook, lies a story
less than extraordinary, blotted with worries, sickness, and inconveniences. I
wonder why then, my happiness at this moment is incomplete.
As crazy as it might sound, sometimes places become more
than places. Sometimes they get a voice, like a living person.
This place has given me the euphoria of witnessing my first
snowfall and the horror of going hypothermic at the same time. When I had no
one to talk to, the empty roads listened patiently to my silence. I have walked
through lanes and by lanes, past tiny streams neatly hidden away from the
hustle & bustle of the city. I have seen the city change colours, from
stark white to gorgeous pink and serene green... and every sight has been just
as breathtaking as the previous one. This city reminds me of my childhood
dreams, the houses, the lawns, the flowers. No matter where I fix my gaze, I
can never have enough of its beauty.
When I first came, I didn’t
even know how to cross a road here. I couldn’t operate the GPS and would be scared
to venture out, in the fear of getting lost. I was intimidated that one had to
do everything on his own, even the physically daunting tasks. And being a girl didn’t
buy me any concessions. I used to hate the queues and how slowly they move, i
hated the rules and how stringent people were about them. But this city taught
me the virtue of patience. I learnt to be self reliant, to find out solutions
instead of quitting. If u asked me now, i could perhaps tell u the routes and
rates memorized. For someone who doesn’t have a car in the US, I am living like
a free bird.:)
But the biggest treasure I have found here is love,
boundless love from people, strangers and friends alike. I always thought, i
was shy and awkward. I could never make friends easily. I didn’t even try to.
When i saw strangers smiling at me for no reason, i thought
it was strange. More so cz I mostly flaunt a serious morose expression. But i
wanted to be like them, smiling and greeting, holding doors for others, showing
little gestures which collectively form a very warm impression. I have no clue
how far I have changed for the better, but the love I have received has more
than compensated for the bitterness few others have caused. N now that i am
leaving, i see their sad faces, holding their farewell gifts in my hand and i
wish i had cared more.
I didn’t know i would return this soon, nothing in my life
confirms to a plan. Likewise I donot know if I would ever come back.
But I am taking along an ocean of wealth, not to be measured
in dollars.
They say Virginia is for lovers, i would say Virginia stands
for love, to and for everyone, even the lonely hearts. I am happy I am going
home, but i finally figured I am sad cz i am going to miss my second home.
Bidding Adieus is always so hard.
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